Life scares me from time to time. Not in a nightmarish-post-horror-movie scare, but the unsettling and insecure sort of chills that keep me up at night from time to time. I question myself, my goals, my desires, my dreams, my travels, and wonder about the next step.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore my Mexican life. I am surrounded by people who have left many an imprint on my heart and who fill countless memories. I thankfuly love what I do day in and day out and wouldn't change nearly anything about the life I'm blessed to live.
Yet as the days go by, there is a sort of restlessness within, not necessarily discontentment, just a tickle. A little itch in my mind as I think about my future. I sometimes find myself staring at the world map above my bed and dreaming of the next adventure, the next place to visit. Yet I find myself getting distracted with so many places to see. I am having a hard time coming to terms with a potential adios to Mexico and a possible hola to someplace that won't feel like home when I arrive.
Whenever I find myself contemplating unknowns and decisions yet to be made, I often recall the advice my high school journalism teacher (and best friend's mom) once shared with us seniors. "Whatever you do in your life, make sure you are doing something you love." I am so thankful for that nugget of wisdom that I've kept in my pocket for these last few years.
I love teaching. I love living in a foreign country. I love the cultural surprises, albeit frustrating at times. I love communicating in a different language. I love introducing new tastes and foods into my life.
And all those "loves" are feeding this craving for perhaps taking a step towards another adventure - maybe a new place to call home.
As scared as I sometimes am and as big as this world is, I am trusting that it really will all work out in the end.
1 comments:
And to think to this day...my mom is a speaker on following God and following your dreams :)
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