It's quite simple...

It almost feels like something you have to do. If you don't do it, you will probably not achieve nearly as much as you could. Yet, it felt slightly trivial realizing at the last minute that I was not ready to take the plunge. And since when have I actually come up with a great, life-changing goal in the 2 minutes following midnight of a New Year?

In that pensive spirit, I followed the lead of my grandmother and decided if "Christmas with the Cousins" could be postponed this year due to too much snow, then my New Year's Resolution could be postponed due to lack of inspiration.

I am almost embarrased to admit that I had to go to desperate measures while searching out the perfect goal - I actually researched the idea behind a New Year's Resolution. Really, what makes a person suddenly desire to change a huge part of their life as they throw out one calendar and open a new one? What is the point?

"Why it's elementary, my dear Watson," Holmes would surely say, "It's a way to improve onself with the idea of beginning afresh." (I still have yet to see the new Holmes movie.....)

Improving oneself.....is actually an overwhelming idea. The list was proving to be endless. While searching for a brilliant resolution, I began to ask those around me with the hope that one of their ideas would ignite my own.

One friend has decided to learn how to make cheese. Another has decided to abandon pop (or soda for those of you not from the midwest). In similiar spirit, a different friend quit smoking or so he said as he was desperately finishing up his last box. Several have joined the gym while others have decided to walk everyday with the idea of shedding a few pounds.

All of these ideas mentioned are great and somewhat typical of what gets thrown around the first of each year. (The only one that really made my jaw drop was the desire to learn how to make cheese.....really?) Yet none of these ideas seemed to align with me.

So the quest continued and was postponed until I found myself arriving home in Mexico once again after spending the holidays in the frozen tundra of Minnesota. And just as cartoons depict an idea with a lightbulb flashing over the character's head, I too had one of those moments. It was as I was unpacking and trying to put things back in their place that I realized the perfect New Year's resolution was right before my eyes.

Though that sounds picturesque and almost poetic, what was "right before my eyes" was nothing more than a mess. A big mess. The kind of mess that slowly develops as a person runs out of time to sort through things in life. I may try to tell myself from time to time that "it's really not that bad." But in saying that to myself (yes I do talk to myself at times), I am only lying. As I began to see my apartment and my classroom and my life in general, I realized that I don't really dedicate the proper time or fuerzas (which means effort, I also like to throw in Spanish words when they sound better than the English equivalent) t0 keep my life in order.

Hiding the mess or shoving it in the cupboard does nobody any good. In fact, it's almost embarrassing. My place may look clean and people have even commented on the "organization", haha, but really it's all surface.

And unfortunately I find that to be true with myself as well. Trying to be one person on the outside, looking like I got it all together, while not dealing with the mess on the inside is exhausting.

So with that mess in mind, my 2010 New Year's Resolution is to "Simplify my Life." I am the first to admit that I don't know exactly what that will entail or how that will happen. But for the record I did spend 5 hours cleaning out my closet last weekend. And I hope to attack the kitchen cupboards this weekend. Little by little with enough determination, I think this goal is manageable. One might still argue that it is slightly vague, but I am ok with that.

Sometimes I like not knowing the outcome or having a specific end in mind. I find that even when I do have a plan, life often veers in another direction. Let's just hope that as life takes me one way or another, my life will be a little less complicated or at least less cluttered allowing me to just enjoy the ride.